Saturday, October 9, 2010

51 Steps of how to Show your Love.


1.Always Write a love note.
2.Say that I love you."
3.Listen to them talk about an interest of theirs.
4.Be trustworthy.
5.Look at them when you are in a discussion.
6.Always Send flowers.
7.Offer to help.
8.Cut out a cartoon they'll enjoy.
9.Ask them what they would like sexually.
10.Go on shopping together.
11.Hold their hands.
12.Share sexual fantasies.
13.Rub their back.
14.Take a shower together.
15.Kiss them.
16.Smile more when you look at them.
17.Go for a bicycle ride together.
18.Surprise them with "special" attire.
19.Plan a picnic lunch at Seaside.
20.Read something together about how to have a better relationship.
21.Repeat what they say before answering.
22.Say "Good morning" first.
23.Send them a card.
24.Surprise them with a gift when it's a non-holiday.
25.Cook them a favorite meal.
26.Try a new restaurant.
27.Ask them how they feel.
28.Let them know when you are proud of them.
29.Turn on some romantic music.
30.Dedicate a song to them.
31.Send them a balloon bouquet.
32.Watch a sunset together.
33.0Play a game together.
34.Have them teach you something they know.
35.Go to a movie they select.
36.Ask them for a hug.
37.Wear some new cologne.
38.Take them to Bali.
39.Discuss future plans with them.
40.Ask if you can help when they look sad.
41.Ask them about their dreams.
42.Meet them for lunch.
43.Give them a gift certificate for their favorite store.
44.Tell them what you like about them.
45.Buy them a new perfume.
46.Take them to a scenic spot.
47.Send them a gourmet gift basket.
48.Send them a joke card.
49.Let them know when you've thought of them during the day.
50.Buy them a toy.
51.Compliment them to their friends.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Love is the Best Gift.


Love is regarded by many the most mysterious, mystical and complex emotion felt by humans and even other animals. Many people would say that love is so mysterious that it has no definition.

The focus of this article is on the three types of love:

Eros - This kind is known as the erotic love. This is based on the very strong feeling between the two people for each other. The physical element is the focus of this kind of love. Many people see this kind of love as selfish since it is based on desire and what benefits one can get from the other. We should be careful with this type of love. Many people mistake this as being true love though it is still love.

Philos - This type of love is very common to friends and best friends. This is the friendship between the two people share. Lovers who started out as close friends have a longer relationship than others and this kind of love is the evidence.

Marriage, family relationship, co-workers relationship and boyfriend-girlfriend relationship will be strengthened if the foundation is friendship. The chances of fight and arguments are decreased because with Philos, couples can get the chance to get to know each other more before they decide to move their relationship to the next level. The two people only sees the positive side of their partners in Philos.

Agape Love - is regarded as the purest and the most real among all kinds of love. It is also called as the unconditional love. Agape love tops over Philos and Eros love. This type of love is selfless. In other words, one can love another person even if he does not get anything from it or is not waiting for anything in return. This love is also shown when one helps another person, without asking for something in return, even if that person has done bad things to the one helping. Agape love is also shown when a son or daughter takes care of his or her parents as they grow old.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

ROMANCE AT HOME!


Your wedding day is often billed as the most romantic time of your life, but we think that it's what comes after that will keep you smiling throughout the years. Your marriage will be made over impromptu breakfasts in bed or late-night talks on the front porch. But is your house ready for the wonderful moments ahead? Don't worry. Our quick and easy tips make it simple to add romance to your home.

1. Living Room.
Do you love snuggling up to your spouse over a video, or is a cocktail while discussing the day more your style? However you like to spend time together, the right lighting will always enhance the occasion. Illuminate your couches and armchairs with standing and table lamps, and make sure you keep candles and matches on the mantle. Also consider installing dimmer switches so you'll always have the perfect amount of light for any kind of romantic moment.

2. Patio.
Picture lazy mornings out on the patio reading the paper, or summer nights enjoying a glass of cold chardonnay. Your patio is the potential site of many romantic moments to come, so take the time to transform it into your own secluded world. The careful positioning of a few potted plants and ferns can give your patio a lush, private feeling. Choose pots in a variety of sizes, and select plants of varying heights. Ficus trees and ferns make excellent choices for the patio, and cheerful geraniums provide the perfect accent. Also plant a few baskets with trailing ivy or create your own hanging garden with pansies, begonias or impatiens. Remember to consider fragrance as well as color and texture when planting your patio pots and baskets. Herbs like thyme and rosemary, or sweetly scented rose bushes are all wonderful selections.

4. Bedroom.
A quick slick of paint is the fastest way to add atmosphere to your bedroom. Whether you prefer cozy peaches or soft blues, make sure the color you choose reflects the mood want. Warm tones such as coral, sand or ecru create an intimate feeling; cool shades such as celadon, tiffany blue or pure white work for couples looking for serenity. Bold colors, such as red, blue or yellow are perfect for couples who value playfulness above all. A major painting trend is using color on one or two walls, with the rest of the room kept in a neutral accent shade. Also, don't forget to select a complementary color for your baseboards and trim.

5. Deck.
There's nothing more romantic than an al fresco dinner beneath the stars -- especially if it's in the privacy of your own garden. Make sure your deck is ready for all those summer nights to come with a long-lasting, weatherproof stain. Staining your deck is easy and inexpensive, and protects the wood from deteriorating. And the bonus: Being outside together staining the deck is actually a lovely way to spend a weekend day.

LOVE WITHOUT CONDITION

"I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be."

I realize that I cannot know what is best for you although perhaps sometimes I think I do. I've not been where you have been, viewing life from that angle you have, I do not know what you have chosen to learn, how you have chosen to learn it, with whom, or in what time period. I have not walked life looking through your eyes, so how can I know what you need.
I allow you to be in the world without a thought or word of judgment from me about the deeds you undertake. I see no error in the things you say and do, in this place where I am. I see that there are many ways to perceive and experience the different facets of our world. I allow without reservation the choices you make in each moment.
I make no judgment of this for if I were to deny your right to evolution, then I would deny that right to myself and all others. To those who would choose a way I cannot walk, whilst I may not choose to add my power and my energy to this way, I will never deny you the gift of love that God has bestowed within me for all creation, as I love you so I shall be loved; as I sow, so I shall reap.
I allow you the universal right of free will to walk your own path, creating steps or to sit a while if that is what is right for you. I will make no judgment of these steps, whether they are large or small, nor light or heavy or that they lead up or down, for this is just my viewpoint. I see you do nothing and might judge it to be unworthy. And yet, it may be that you bring great healing as you stand blessed by the light of God.
I cannot always see the higher picture of divine order. For it is the inalienable right of all life to choose their own evolution and with great love I acknowledge your right to determine your future. In humility I bow to the realization that the way I see is best for me does not have to mean that it is also right for you. I know that you are led as I am following the inner excitement to know your own path.
I know that the many races, religions, customs, nationalities and beliefs within our world bring us great richness and allow us the benefit of teachings of such diverseness. I know we each learn in our own unique way in order to bring that love and wisdom back to the whole. I know that if there were only one way to do something, there would need to be only one person. I will not only love you if you behave in a way I think you should, or believe in those things I believe in. I understand you are truly my brother and sister though you may have been born in a different place and believe in another God than I.
The love I feel is for all of God's world. I know that every living thing is part of God and I feel a love deep within every person, and every tree, and flower, every bird, river, ocean and for all the creatures in all the world. I live my life in loving service being the best me I can, becoming wiser in the perfection of divine truth, becoming happier in the joy of unconditional love.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Romantic Love is Ever lasting


Romance does not necessarily have to fade away in the long-term relationships and transform into a friendship-type love, according to a new study. Romantic love can last a lifetime and lead to even happier, stronger and healthier relationships.

The study's lead researcher, Bianca P. Acevedo, PhD, from the University of California, Santa Barbara, said that many people identify romantic love as passionate love, which, in her opinion, is not true. The scientist explained that romantic love has the same intensity, involvement and sexual chemistry, that has the passionate love, with the exception of an obsession. Obsessive love is always accompanied by feelings such as anxiety and uncertainty, and never survives for a long time.

To come up with this conclusion, Dr. Acevedo and co-author Arthur Aron, PhD, analyzed 25 studies with more than 6,000 individuals that were engaged in the short-term and long-term relationships. The researchers planned to figure out if romantic love was associated with more satisfaction in a relationship. In several studies, the relationships were classified as romantic, passionate/obsessive, or friendship-like love, and categorized as the short- or long-term.

The first study involved 17 short-term relationships of single, dating or married college students with the ages between 18 and 23, whose relationships lasted less than 4 years. The second study analyzed 10 long-term relationships of middle-aged couples, with the marriage experience of 10 years or more. And, finally, two other studies included both the long- and short-term relationships in which it was pretty much possible to distinguish the two samples.

The results revealed that those individuals who said that they had a great romantic love, were much more satisfied in both the short- and long-term relationships. Participants from both the short- and long-term relationships, who reported that their love was mostly based on friendship, only moderately associated their relationship with complete satisfaction, and those who reported passionate love in their relationships, were more likely to be satisfied for the short period of time, rather than the long term. Also, couples who expressed the most satisfaction with their partner, turned out to be much happier and had higher self-esteem.

According to Dr. Acevedo, when partners feel and know that they are there for each other, it always creates a strong bond between them, and leads to a good relationship, which, in turn, contributes to stronger feelings of romantic love. On the contrary, when people start feeling insecure and jealous, they start also experiencing less satisfaction, which in many cases leads to misunderstandings and conflicts in the relationships. All this can point to the signs of an obsessive love, she said.

This new findings may change people's perceptions and expectations of what they really want in long-term relationships. The scientists wrote that companionship, or friendship-type love, which is what people usually see and expect as the natural transformation of any happy relationship, may be an unnecessary compromise. Partners should fight for their love with all the possible means, Acevedo said. And couples who have been together for many years and wish to rekindle their romantic feelings, should remember that this is an attainable goal that, like most good things in life, requires patience, energy and devotion, she concluded.

MEDITATION: A TIME FOR LOVE


Though many people every day all over the world sit on floors, on cushions, on their heels or on chairs in an attempt to enter into some level of inner stillness or broadened consciousness, very few actually ever manage to go very far into that sought-after state. Most people do feel more relaxed after the quiet times in which they chose to meditate. That is in itself a worthy result. But most wish that they could go further into the stillness, further into their inner beings, further into the world of spirit – and they are saddened and frustrated that the times of attempted meditation do not bear more fruit. What is it that keeps most meditators from achieving higher consciousness and lasting inner peace in spite of their repeated efforts to do so through their meditative practices?

The most frequent reason that keeps people from having the greater, more desired effects of their meditative practices is that they do not love. If you enter into meditation with intentions of stillness and peace, but your heart is not opening with love to that which is the Great Love, not much will happen. The great mystics of all traditions have not coincidentally also been the great lovers of God. When they entered into meditation, they went into their inner chambers anticipating with great yearning and devotion to have a meeting with God. That God is God of Love, so the meeting and the relationship had to be one of love. This is not the romantic kind of love, because it is not about what you can get for yourself. But it is most definitely about the possibility of entering into the fullest, deepest and most profound love relationship any person can ever have.

To have a lover/beloved relationship with God within, you will have to be ready to accept the profound experience of being completely known and loved to your very core. You will need to be prepared to have the experience of that love changing you and your life in unexpected ways. When you feel that loved by this Being that knows all your faults, all your weaknesses, and all your wounds, you will either accept it in awed humility or you will pull back in fear and shame. To be prepared to be able to accept the experience of such profound love, you will need to do some work. The work involves you opening up to the feelings that you have repressed and which you have been afraid to feel or too ashamed to acknowledge. The inner experience of Divine Love has to move through your heart, so your heart will first need to be opened up to your own feeling of all that is in it. Then, when you can face yourself and your feelings, you will need to be able to ask for and accept forgiveness for what you have done wrong. Without this step, you will be too afraid or too mad to be able to open to the influx of that great Love.

If you are willing to do this preparatory work and make your heart one that will be able to receive and hold the experience of the Love that God within you holds for you, you will discover being completely, deeply and unconditionally loved in a way no human could ever give to you. Then you will begin to know who you are and who God is. Then you will begin to truly know how to meditate.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Where Should You Go On Your First Date?


Where Should You Go On Your First Date? Don’t you find the question often coming to your mind before you go on a date with someone for the first time? Always choose a public place for the first date so that both of you are comfortable enough. Go to a nice restaurant or go to the mall together for some shopping. Visit a fast food place or a coffee shop. Choose any place where you can carry on conversations. Don’t visit the movie theater coz both of you will watch the movie instead of chatting. Just choose any casual, non-formal place with lots of people around.

Friday, May 14, 2010

How Do I Know if I’m in Love?


“Love is a feeling you feel when you feel you’re feeling a feeling you never felt before.”

Sounds profound, doesn’t it? I quoted it for years until I thought about the first time I received an electric shock. That was a feeling I’d never felt before, but I’ll guarantee you it wasn’t love!

Becoming One
Joe's latest book: Becoming One
Buy it online!
The problem with the word love is that we use it to apply to so many emotions or situations that we sometimes don’t know what it means. So what is it? What is this thing called love?

Dr. Robert Sternberg at Yale University probably defines it best. He says that love consists of three components: 1) decision/commitment; 2) intimacy; and 3) passion. When all three strongly exist in our feelings for another person, he says that we feel consummate love for that person. What do these components mean?

* Decision/Commitment has both a short-term and long-term dimension. The short-term dimension occurs when we consciously decide that we love someone. The long-term dimension occurs when we commit to maintain that love. Interestingly, some evolve into commitment without ever consciously deciding to do so.
* Intimacy means closeness, connectedness, warmth, and bondedness. It has to do with understanding each other, accepting each other, and having open and intimate communication with each other.
* Passion is physical attraction, sexual desire, and other strong emotional attraction to another person.

These three components of love were recognized in the time of Jesus. Commitment corresponds to agape found in passages like Matthew 5:44. Intimacy corresponds to philia found in passages like Titus 2:4. And Passion corresponds to eros. Dr. Sternberg didn’t find anything new in his research; he simply quantified how these components measure love.

So what does this mean to you?

Love consists of three components: 1) decision/commitment; 2) intimacy; and 3) passion.
I constantly hear people say things like, “I’m not sure if I love my husband,” or “I don’t know if my husband loves me.” Well, you can know. Instead of trying to measure an undefined, intangible feeling, try to understand how each of the three components exists in your marriage. The best way to do that is to have a revealing conversation with your spouse. The following exercise isn’t foolproof, but it may give each of you insight into the love in your relationship. You must do the exercise together and you must be completely honest.

1. Each spouse describes/defines what commitment means to him or her.
2. Using the spouse’s definition, each person rates his or her commitment to the other on a scale of one to ten. Be sure to explain the rating chosen.
3. Each person then answers this question: How satisfied am I with the levels of commitment we each have?
4. Each spouse describes/defines what intimacy means to him or her.
5. Using the spouse’s definition, each person rates his or her feelings of intimacy for the other on a scale of one to ten. Be sure to explain the rating chosen.
6. Each person then answers this question: How satisfied am I with the levels of intimacy we each feel?
7. Each spouse describes/defines what passion means to him or her.
8. Using the spouse’s definition, each person rates his or her feelings of passion for the other on a scale of one to ten. Be sure to explain the rating chosen.
9. Each person then answers this question: How satisfied am I with the levels of passion we each feel?
10. Now, together evaluate the love you feel and decide what each of you can do to develop more commitment, intimacy, and passion.

Recovering from Sex or Love Addiction


While suggestions for treatment of sex and love addiction differ among varying helping groups and professionals, two major concepts are considered important by all:


1. since love and sex are natural and important parts of human functioning the impulses need to be re-channeled rather than abandoned and
2. full recovery involves developing healthy relationships.

With most addictions, abstinence is a major goal and means to recovery. The alcoholic abstains from drinking; the compulsive gamble stops betting; the addict stops using. Yet, just as the suggestion that compulsive overeaters cease all eating activities would be unrealistic as well as unhealthy, and therefore unwise, the suggestion that sex and love addicts stop partaking of their loving and sexual impulses would be equally unnatural and also unnecessary. Loving and sexual impulses expressed in healthy ways lead to feelings of belonging, positive interactions, and increasing self esteem.

Sex and love addicts have distorted their natural impulses in dysfunctional ways in order to deny their feelings of shame. Therefore, a major goal of recovery is to re-direct and re-channel addictive thoughts and behaviors in order to rediscover their natural loving and sexual impulses and transform their lives.

Developing healthy relationships is vital to recovery from a sex or love addiction. To this end Twelve Step programs modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous serve a valuable purpose. Many sex and love addicts find the acceptance, patience, and structure of a Twelve Step program such as Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) or Co-Dependents Anonymous (CODA) their key to feeling more genuine connectedness with themselves and others. Some find a special friend, mentor, or lover with whom they are able to form a healthy and enduring bond.

Some need more help. A number of people discover that a relationship with a professional therapist with expertise in these issues can be helpful in many situations. A therapist can help them see why they behave in unhealthy ways, can help them identify their unmet needs and find ways of expressing and getting them met, can describe what healthy relationships are like, and can help guide and support recovering addicts as they experiment with new ways of being.

Although sex and love addicts may experience anxiety, loneliness and despair and the road of recovery may seem long and bumpy, they can become healthier in their relationships and lead fuller, more satisfying lives. If you or a loved one need help, get it. Make yourself a priority and attend to this most basic of needs as soon as you can.

A Closer Look At Sex & Love Addictions


What is Addiction to Sex and/or Love?

Although people such as Josh and Trina seem at first glance to be very different--Josh relates superficially to many and Trina wraps herself up intensely in one--they can be thought of as extremes on a continuum. Josh's behavior may be acceptable or even admired for younger men but in someone well into middle age they contradict our cultural expectation of finding a mate and settling down for life. Therefore, his addiction is more readily seen as out of control than is Trina's.

Sexual addiction has been called many other things: compulsive sexual behavior, hypersexuality, or sexual impulsivity. Sex addicts are characterized by a preoccupation with sex, the strong desire for sex, and particularly, a sense of shame due to an inability to control their sexual impulses. Sex addicts cannot identify a time when their compulsion began but there seems to be an agreement that it occurs as a coping response to anxiety.

The psychological world had known for decades what the underlying problem is. As far back as twenty years ago, Barth and Kinder (1987) wrote, "the sexually impulsive individual uses sexual activity as a means of avoiding or escaping from personal problems, social stress, and unpleasant emotions, such as loneliness, boredom, tension, sadness, or anger (p.16)." Their sexual activities can range from intense sexual fantasizing, conventional intercourse, and sexual deviation (of a number of types) to violent criminal behavior. Sex addicts often try to distance themselves from their impulses, that is, from their bodies, their hearts and souls.

They use repression and denial resulting in guilt and shame, social isolation, and other inwardly directed negative emotions. In other words, they try to keep their addiction secret and suffer low self esteem and alienation as a result. Frequently, their sexual addiction is accompanied by drug and alcohol abuse or addiction. Often, as the substance abuse abates, the sexual addiction increases and one set of compulsive behaviors substitutes for another. However, both addictions can be seen as attempts to provide a means of avoiding inner emptiness.

What about Trina? What could be wrong with falling in love, becoming one with your partner, placing your loved one above yourself: Isn't that the stuff of romance? Isn't that what love is all about? Trina and those like her have never experienced genuine nurturing and confuse their partner's neediness with desire. Their relationships are one way to try to experience caring but their care-taking can turn to control. Typically love addicts are Super Co-dependents.

They may have grown up in extremely dysfunctional households where one or both parents were either addicted to something (e.g.,alcohol, drugs, work, gambling, food, etc.), mentally unstable, violent, physically and/or emotionally abusive, or even sexually inappropriate with their children. The result was that the parents were emotionally unavailable to their children and thereby discounted their child's perceptions and needs. Future love addicts often became caretakers of one or both of their dysfunctional parents. In this way they got some of their emotional needs met to feel important or valued.

These kids brought into adulthood a paralyzing fear of abandonment so strong that they would do anything to keep a relationship from breaking up. Used to a lack of love in relationships, they are attracted to partners who are as emotionally unavailable as their parents. They hold hopes of transforming the object of their affection with the power of their love. They stay focused on the loved one and discount their own needs and desires. They take on the blame, guilt, and responsibility for the relationship and keep trying harder and harder to please.

They are willing to suffer and endure pain in hopes of getting their partner to acknowledge and appreciate them in ways their parents never did. People who are kind, respectful, and solicitous of them are found wanting, dull, and lacking in excitement. The love addict becomes restless around persons who might really provide them with genuine caring and nurturing. The love addict's caring turns to control as they try harder and harder to achieve the security they never had in childhood. However, rather than create that idealized fairy tale ending they wish for, they more often recreate the home they were raised in.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

What’s Love (and Sex) Got to Do With It?


In the twenty-five years I’ve been practicing tantra, I’ve seen the public perception change from a little known esoteric spiritual path to the most fashionable lovemaking style in America. Now there’s even a hit song playing on the radio which refers to tantra. Despite its popularity, many people — even some who have attended tantra workshops — are mystified about what tantra really is. This confusion isn’t surprising because as I always tell my students, ask twenty tantra teachers "what is tantra?" and you’ll get twenty different answers. Furthermore, while tantra ultimately addresses All and Everything and is intended to lead to an indescribable peak experience, most Americans are primarily interested in the sexual aspects of tantra. In light of this discrepancy, it’s most illuminating to focus on tantra as an attitude toward life in general and toward sex in particular. I’ve adapted the following expression of the tantric attitude specifically for contemporary Westerners.

Sex is for bonding. Sex is for communing with spirit and with each other and sensing our place in the whole of creation. Our social fabric and our spiritual understanding are unraveling because we have -- through 2000 years of teaching that sex is sinful and good girls don’t do it-- all but destroyed this powerful force whose purpose is to link us together. Sexual union, sometimes in a ritual context, is meant to bond the society, not just the mating pair, together. It becomes a divisive force only when we impose artificial limits on its expression, particularly for women, and turn sex into a scarce commodity.

The sex negative approach many of us were raised with says: "Don't do it! It's nasty, it's sinful, it's disgusting." The sexual liberation movement of the sixties said, "Do it as much as you can! It's harmless, it's fun, it's good for you." This is much healthier than the sex negative approach because it promotes self-acceptance, but it still doesn’t completely heal the split between sex and spirit.

The reunion of sex and spirit comes about when we go one step further by saying, "Sex is sacred, it's powerful, it's lasting, and we should approach it with love, with reverence, and with caring. Sexualoving relationships are a tool for spiritual development." We must realize that when we join with another sexually and spiritually we create an enduring linkage which lasts till the end of time. But what are the implications of this knowledge?

Best-selling author Riane Eisler points out that throughout Judeo-Christian history the absolute authority of the husband over his wife has been taken for granted, and male violence against "disobedient" wives has been considered natural and right. Eisler refers to this type of culture which legally and socially favors males, relies upon fear and violence to enforce its values, and makes it easy for men to control women as Dominator culture.

As the 20th Century draws to a close, both men and women realize we need to find another way to relate. The Sexual Revolution has long since faded leaving us with monumental sexual malaise. As Erica Jong's fictional heroine Leila Sand says in Any Women's Blues, "All my life I've wanted nothing but to bring sex and friendship together – and I seem to be farther away from it than ever." Leila speaks for millions of women and men who dimly sense the need to make a deep shift in the way we view sex, love, and intimacy.

Tantra implies a shift to a more intuitive, mutually supportive, life affirming way of expressing our sexuality and structuring our loving relationships. While all genders contain both masculine and feminine elements, women tend to be more naturally tantric. As women overcome their residual fears and get back in touch with their natural, loving, feminine spirit, they pave the way for a renaissance of sexualove. As men release their fear-based need to control, and learn to surrender, they can join with women to create genuine partnership.

The new paradigm for love is sometimes referred to as "conscious relationship" because it is an outgrowth of the world's great spiritual traditions and the modern consciousness movement. Its basic premise is that while traditional marriage is survival-oriented and requires a zombie-like trance in order to endure, new paradigm relationships thrive when we make a commitment to help each other wake-up or become more conscious of letting go of dysfunctional patterns and buried feelings.

Historically most spiritual paths have emphasized a celibate, monastic lifestyle for serious aspirants. But tantra offers us a way of utilizing the challenges presented by intimate sexual relationships to hasten the process of spiritual evolution. This process begins with a desire to see through the illusions of our belief systems and come into direct contact with reality. Tantra is consistent with a more conscious approach to relationship in which men and women embrace sexualoving as the leading edge of their healing and growth.

Humans crave erotic love and ecstatic sexuality, but we also fear them knowing how powerless we are in their path. Isn’t it safer to create rigid social institutions to contain them, even if we end up strangling the life out of them in the process? Similarly, there have been parts of us that hate and fear the earth, nature, and the wilderness because they are scary, dangerous, and hard to control. Dominators say, if we kill all the wild beasts, dam the rivers, cut down the forests, pave over the marshes; then maybe we will be safe.

Our ambivalence toward the planet has led us to the edge of irreparable destruction of our natural environment. Hopefully, the Ecology Movement has awakened us to that danger in time to reverse the process. Similarly, our ambivalence toward sex, love, and the whole ecology of human relatedness has led us the point of destroying the very things which make us human. Tantra can teach us how to honor both sex and spirit and come into right relationship with all of life.

rahul khanna kiss

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Lisa Ray - French Kiss

Kissing by the Signs


Wondering how to satisfy your lover's ardent feelings? Keep reading for insight into the passionate nature of the Signs and then take the Kissing Style Quiz to discover what your liplocks reveal about you and your romantic destiny!
Aries
Your kisses are quick and passionate fits of lustful pleasure that are there. and then gone.

Taurus
Your kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt and they can go on and on and on.

Gemini
Your kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, smiles and funny observations.

Cancer
Your kisses are warm and tender, and you never want to let them go.

Leo
Your kisses are wild and uninhibited, biting and clawing; you expect applause for your performance.

Virgo
Your kisses are so subtle and tidy, your lover only notices them once you've finished.

Libra
You're too busy worrying about your breath to really get into your kisses.

Scorpio
You skip the kiss and get to straight to . whatever comes next for you.

Sagittarius
Your kisses are surprising, spontaneous affairs that leave the kissed wanting more.

Capricorn
Your kisses are intense moments of sublime relief from the stress of your day.

Aquarius
Your kisses are wet and messy, and you tend to keep your eyes open.

Pisces
Your kisses are starry-eyed, amorous and long-lasting.

14 styles of kissing


ICE KISS
Celebrate the first day of winter with an ice kiss. Put an ice cube in your mouth until your mouth becomes cold. Remove the cube, track down your love and plant a kiss that will send chills!
ELECTRIC SHOCK KISS
The two of you shuffle your feet furiously on carpet. When you both have an electric charge, lean over and slowly aim for each other's lips. With your lips about one-half inch apart, move in even slower until a spark jumps between teh two of you. Instantly after this happens, kiss one another...the please us the kiss right after the shock!
CAMPING KISS
On a beautiful cool night, you and your love crawl into a sleeping bag outside. Cuddle and kiss.
REWARD KISS
Next time your love performs some disliked home chore like cleaning the bathroom, mowing the lawn, or taking out the garbage, show your appreciation by tucking a candy kiss in a strategic location.
POST-IT KISS
Use 3M Post-It notes to make a trail through your house that leads to your lips. Put a lipstick print or lip symbol on each note with an arrow pointing to the next note. You, of course, are at the end of the trail with a Post-It note over your lips that says, "LIFT FOR KISS"
KISSING IN THE RAIN
The next time it rains, grab an umbrella, rain coats, and your love. Then go outside and kiss in the rain. If the spirit of the kiss moves you, remove the umbrella and kiss 'till the two of you are soaked.
HERSHEY`S KISSES
Prepare a small bag of Hershey`s kisses and slip it into your love's purse, briefcase, or lunchbox. Attach a note that reads "SORRY, I CAN'T BE THERE IN PERSON, BUT THINK OF ME AND DO THE FOLLOWING: Close your eyes and place the candy between your lips. Drop the candy in your mouth and roll it on your tongue until it melts.
TRACY AND HEPBURN KISS
Make flash cards, and the two of you re-enact the following kissing scene from WOMAN OF THE YEAR
* KISSES IN A BALLOON
Cut out small red tissue lips, and place them inside an opaque balloon filled with helium (any party store could do this for you) Tie the balloon to your love's chair at dinner. Desert is a shower of kisses delivered by a sharp pin.
* TOLL KISS
Next time you are driving your love somewhere, stop the car before crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel, and say the toll must be paid before you can go any further. Of course, the toll cost in one kiss.
* MORSE CODE KISS
If you know Morse code, great, If not, this is a great way to learn. Find a Morse Code chart. Using long and short kisses, spell out a message to your love and have him or her try to decipher them.
* KISSING METER KISSES
We have parking meters, so why not kissing meters? Turn a box into your own kissing meter and wear it around your neck. Give your love kissing tokens to start your kissing meter. Have an "expired" sign appear when you need another kiss.
* AUDIO STIMULATION
Make a cassette of kissing noises and place in your love's cassette player (walkman, car or home) with a note attached.
* BREAKFAST IN BED KISS
Slip out of bed early and prepare a special "Kissing" breakfast to serve to your love in bed. Pick foods that you can easily pick up and feed to your love. Kiss between bites!
* STAIRWELL KISS
This kiss is to be done at a party or at a gathering with your love. Steal away to a private location like behind a door or tree, or on the stairwell and passionately kiss each other. The risk of being discovered in the act is the key element.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

5 Tips on French Kissing



While you're kissing in a French manner, there is maybe a proper way and a bad technique to do that. Read the following rules, and you are sure to the best kisser ever.

* Make certain your breathing place is caller. Having addled breathing place when getting ready to kiss your girlfriend is never right! It is even more important to be careful your breath is fresh when you are going to make out with someone since your lips are going to be open and your tongue is going to be used actively. Always take care to brush and floss before kissing. Keep some mint candies on your pocket just in case French kissing becomes an option. Also, be sure to abstain foods that can cause bad breath, e.g. onion.

* Watch out for teeth when French kissing. It can be really painful, as well as inconvenient, to bump them in the heat of the moment. While they might seem to get in the way, you can actually incorporate them into your kiss. Try gently rubbing the your girlfriend's teeth with your tongue. You will find that you enjoy the slight tickle it gives you. However, be aware of whether or not your kissing partner enjoys it just because some girls do not.

* It is a well-known thing that girls are different. In the same respect, different people like to kiss in a different manners. Just because the last person you French kissed enjoyed some things does not guarantee that the next girl you kiss will. You have to know of what seems to work well and find the kissing style that is pleasurable and comfortable for you and your girlfriend. If your typical kissing style does not seem to be suitable for the other girl, do not assume you are an awful kisser. Likewise, do not think that that the other person is a bad kisser just because they kiss differently than any girl you have French kissed before. Always be ready to try original methods because you never know what you might find that you like.

* Do not be a passive observer. If you are kissing someone because you want to, show them that! Be passionate and do your part instead of just sitting there. If you feel OK with this, take the initiative for a short time and check your body language. Just remember that if at any point you are not comfortable with the kiss, you can close your mouth or easily pull back. Most of people will quickly understand what you are saying with the language of your body.

* There is no standard for how long a French kiss should last. You can simply pause the kissing process at any time when you feel it's not good. If you do not have that it is necessary to do stop the kiss, continue French kissing until it feels like the right moment to stop it. You and your girlfriend will obviously come to a natural stopping point that you both recognize. To add a romantic moment, try sucking your kissing partner's lip as you separate. After a moment, if you are still in the good mood, you may want to continue the kissing process.

Where Should You Go On Your First Date?



Where Should You Go On Your First Date? Don’t you find the question often coming to your mind before you go on a date with someone for the first time? Always choose a public place for the first date so that both of you are comfortable enough. Go to a nice restaurant or go to the mall together for some shopping. Visit a fast food place or a coffee shop. Choose any place where you can carry on conversations. Don’t visit the movie theater coz both of you will watch the movie instead of chatting. Just choose any casual, non-formal place with lots of people around.

A Love Letter To Your Spouse


When was the last time you took time out of your busy schedule to write your spouse a letter? Not just a list of to-dos or a grocery list, but a love letter saying how much you appreciate them and value having them in your life. We get caught up in everyday life, that we allow our marriages to miss the little things that can sometimes over shadow the very things we think are major problems. Whether you are having problems in your marriage or your marriage is perfect, you can still speak life into it by writing your spouse a LOVE LETTER today!

Don't take for granted that your spouse will always be around and knows exactly how you feel about them. Have a heart of forgiveness, let down your pride and show them some love today! Below is a letter that has been drafted for you, as you make a commitment to start encouraging your spouse and setting your marriage on fire.

Dear (insert your spouse's name here),

I wanted to write this letter to let you know that I am thinking about you and that I love you so much. I know we have our differences and we were made into two different people, but I believe we were made us just for each other. I appreciate all that you have done for me and all that you continue to do to show your love for me. Thank You!

You make me smile when I don't feel like smiling; you make me happy when I am sad and you bring joy and peace into my everyday worries. For that, I am so blessed to have you as my spouse and I am thankful for you every day.

I cherish each day I can wake up next to you and spend time together, whether it's a lot of time or a small block of time. I also cherish each night that we share our bed together; knowing that we can end our night as one holding each other, and letting go of the worries from that day.

I often ask the question, "Can I really be this blessed to have you in my life?" My answer is always a resounding yes because how can I complain about someone as wonderful as you are. You were wonderful enough for me to marry you, so I know that what made you so special back then is still shining bright in you.

On this day, I wanted to thank you for loving me, thank you for putting up with me, thank you for being patient with me, thank you for making me smile, thank you for serving me and most of all, thank you for being the wonderful person that I have come to love so much.

Please forgive me if I have ever done or said anything to hurt you, because I want us walk this journey together in love and a renewed commitment to each other.

I hope our marriage will forever be blessed not just as a marriage, but as a "holy matrimony." My sincere prayer is that we can continue to walk this journey side-by-side and day-by-day loving each other, until "death parts us."

Love Always,

(Insert your name here)

You may think that this is only a letter, but it's not just a letter. Our words and how we use them in our marriage can have a profound positive impact on how our marriage will grow. Do you want your marriage to grow and prosper? If so, then speak life and joy into your spouse and about your marriage. Don't give up on your marriage or your love for your spouse. Write them that love letter that they can cherish forever.
Author's Bio
Certified Life Coach, Motivational Evangelist, Professor, Author. Dawgelene has a passion for speaking, writing and motivating others to reach higher heights, which has spanned the past 20 years. She strives to motivate others to press forward with a passion for achieving their goals, and maximizing their God-given potential in every area of their lives. Her particular areas of expertise include leadership and motivation, which she feels is essential for getting individuals to ditch that in-the-box mentality, and expand the scope of their royal success.

She started www.ThinkRoyally.com, to provide free advice to individuals seeking positivity in their lives, as well as co-founding www.themarriagereport.org, which is dedicated to providing inspiration for married couples.

She developed this way of thinking: "In order to find YOUR royal flow, you have to first identify it, get in the water at a level that works for you, and swim like a fish upstream"

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Signs of Attraction - Body Language - Signs of Love and Attraction


As I was searching for love, I had great fun learning some basics of body language in relation to physical attraction. It was fun to be near someone I found attractive and see if he reciprocated what I felt. It was a helpful tool during the very first meetings and during the initial dates!

Attraction signs of the body:

- Especially if sitting, his/her foot is likely to be pointing towards you
- Or their legs will be crossed TOWARDS you
- They will turn towards you or at least have the trunk of their body face towards you (so they may turn towards you in a way that their trunk is at least facing you)
- They will come very close to you if they can (this will of course also depend on their culture, the circumstance etc)
- If you two are on 'speaking terms', during your exchanges he/she will touch you, even if in a seemingly casual way (but of course there are people who touch you no matter what, so you need to verify by checking other attractions signs)
- His/her head may be tilted
- They will touch their face during conversation
- Their lips may be slightly parted
- They will exhibit grooming behaviours such as adjusting their clothes, checking their face (or parts of), adjust their hair, etc)
- They may touch their face, often near the eyes whilst talking to you or looking at you.

Moreover: a man will sit in front of you and acquire a straighter, more 'squared' posture in order to 'show off' his shoulders and chest as well as displaying (subconsciously) his sexual areas; he may also sit or stand with his legs apart and his head held high and, at times, roll up their sleeves (all subconscious showing-off gestures)

a woman will stroke her hair or/and touch/stroke her neck in your presence, or whilst looking at your or whilst you two are talking; she may also thrust our her breasts in your presence.

Attraction signs of the eyes:

- They will look at your eyes, then will look at another part of your face, sometimes from eye to eye to mouth, other times along your hair; it's a form of 'caressing your face' with their eyes - They may look at you and then look away, often looking back at your raising their eyes/eyebrows - They may just raise their eyebrows - Their pupils will be more dilated than they would normally in that particular environment/light, so if you can check others' pupils in the same room/area for comparison. - Their eyes may be watery

Mirroring your movements or gestures is also a sign of attraction. Similarly, if you wish to make someone feel at ease, you could mirror his/her movements. In order to determine physical attractions, you don't have to notice all of the above signs, because it obviously also depends on the circumstances (where you are at that time, for example). But if you notice many of the above signs, he/she is attracted to you! Congratulations!

However, remember that some 'players' may be using the body language to manipulate you. This is why, if you are searching for love and nothing less, you must learn to determine, as you two date, if he/she genuinely cares for you and your well being. Love and physical attractions are not the same thing!

How to Improve Your Sex Life in Bed


1.
Step 1

First off if your problem is ejaculating too early, you need to practice by masturbating on your own and training yourself to last longer. Do not get off too early, and practice slow strokes rather than quick fast ones.
2.
Step 2

While in bed also practice slow long strokes with your partner, rather than a quick thrust, which is surely to get you off quicker.
3.
Step 3

Have fun with new toys, go to a Christie's Toybox and experiment with things you and your spouse might find enjoyable.
4.
Step 4

Think about what your spouse would want, moaning and groaning during sex can really stimulate both parties and add pleasure to both of your all's experience.
5.
Step 5

Actually talking to your spouse about what he or she likes and what feels best to them is a good way to make it better. I have personally used this step with my girlfriend which really helps.
6.
Step 6

Lastly be spontaneous on where you have sex at. Some might find this step odd or wierd but it really helps your sex life and adds some excitement. Pull over if your traveling at the local rest stop, on the trampoline, in the kitchen, anywhere you normally don't have sex in try it out and see how it works for you.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

What Makes People Fall in Love?


Several years ago I developed a model that explains the process of “falling” in and out of love. It’s simple, practical, and extremely valid to the human experience. An amazing serendipity about the model is that when one understands the process of love, the person also learns how to fall in love all over again. We’ve used this model to help people fall in love again even after they had reached a point in their relationship where they were disinterested in each other, tired of each other, didn’t like each other any more, or outright hated each other.

Becoming One
Joe's latest book: Becoming One
Buy it online!
I intend to share parts of the model with you over the next several weeks so that no matter how good or bad your relationship, you can be in love with each other again.

Let’s start where we should, at the beginning of every relationship. In our Love, Sex & Marriage seminar we ask people what first attracts them to another. Men tend to mention certain anatomical features. Interestingly, women do too. They talk about noticing a man’s height, the width of his shoulders, the flatness of his stomach, or the shape of his buttocks. Yes, even in church audiences!

So what’s my point?

Simply this: The first thing attracting any human to another is ALWAYS sensual.

When we first meet another human, we mentally register what we see, hear, or smell and instantly find ourselves attracted, neutral, or repulsed by that person. Since each of us is unique in our tastes, what one person finds alluring, another may find repelling, and another may not register as worthy of notice at all.

How does what we find physically attractive affect our “falling” in love? The chances of developing or maintaining love decrease proportionately with the degree of unattractiveness we perceive in another. For example, if you perceive a person as very unattractive, you likely aren’t going to be open to pursuing a relationship unless there is something else attracting you more strongly than their appearance is repelling you. That just makes sense doesn’t it?

When we were single, we accepted that truth. We kept our bodies trim, carefully coifed our hair, and wore only the most fashionable clothes. We knew that the people we met would immediately react either positively or negatively to our fragrance, voice, and appearance. We kept ourselves as attractive to the opposite sex as possible.

So why should it be any different after marriage?

So why should it be any different after marriage?
A very common complaint we hear from both husbands and wives is the loss of their desire for a spouse who has forgotten the lure of the sensual. As one man said, “My wife is a beautiful woman when she wants to be. But she seems more focused on enjoying rich foods than being attractive to me. When I say anything about it, she just cries and tells me I don’t love her. I’ve learned to live with the fact that my wife will never be beautiful again because she doesn’t care to be. I guess I’m not as important to her as chocolate cake.”

I understand his dilemma. I’ve heard people reject loudly the idea that they should continue to be attractive to their spouses. When I probe their anger, I usually discover that the person objecting doesn’t feel attractive any more because of aging or some other factor. Because of that negative personal perception, he or she wants the mate to no longer be affected by physical attractiveness. They say things like, “A spiritual person wouldn’t care what I looked like!”

Interesting that they didn’t feel that way when they were looking for a mate. I often ask, “Were you spiritual when you first noticed the person you married? Did you question your spirituality when you were attracted by his/her physical beauty and attractiveness?”

God made us as we are—beings that are both physical and spiritual. We have needs to be fulfilled in both those dimensions of ourselves. He didn’t make all of us gorgeous, but He designed into the human race the ability for us to make ourselves attractive to others.

Think of it this way. Beauty is made, not born. No one has to match what he or she was during the early 20s. But none of us have the right to say, “Well, you married me. Now you have to blithely accept whatever I want to be like or look like!”

Whether you like it or not, you will be either attracted or repelled by what your senses register as long as you live. So will your spouse. Do you want your mate to be attracted to you? If so, you cannot demand his or her passion and desire just because you want it to exist. You have to understand the way God made us and make yourself as desirable as you can as long as you live together.

It’s the most basic step of falling in love. Or falling in love again.

The Reason Behind Woman's Love For Gay Men




In the recent years several shows like Sex and the city have been idealizing women having gay men as friends. It may be as if we are reading a bit too much into this matter, but it should be noted that there is some evidence on this phenomena which is called as fictional as such. In short it can be said that women love gay men.

There are certain types of gay men whom women prefer over others. Gay men who are good or look good, who have the patience to listen to them and are loyal are considered to be the most loved by women and it is not difficult to understand the reason behind that. This phenomenon as such is restricted to that small numbers of gay men who have all those gentle qualities and listen to women.

There are certain points that heterosexual men need to understand basing on the reason why women love gay men.

The first and foremost thing is related to the clothing in men. It has been seen that gay men are much better in knowledge related to fashion or style compared to ordinary men. They are considered to be well dressed and put aside normal heterosexual men in terms of fashion knowledge or clothing. This is one of the most important reasons for women liking gay men.

The above mentioned point draws men to think about their way of clothing or their taste for clothing. How do one know if they are good in the aspect of style or not? There is no other way than to feel best dressed when present in a crowd of people. If a man does not feel so, it implies that there is a need to rethink about the wardrobe. Women compliment men on their appearance and if that does not happen quite often, then it is the time for a man to think about his dressing style.

The other reason is the physical fitness aspect which gay men interestingly are more serious about than any heterosexual man. Women love to watch the those carefully sculpted forms in any male. This one point is poorly maintained by an ordinary heterosexual man and well maintained by a gay man. As such gay men are loved by woman.

Men that are gay are also better than heterosexual men in the aspect of healthy lifestyle which is widely appreciated by women. Women like to see a man take care of himself in the aspects of health which is not the case usually and gay men fare better in this aspect. That's another reason for woman liking gay men. This calls for the need for heterosexual men to march towards gyms for physical fitness. At least some amount of physical exercise is needed.

The aspect of sensitivity which was scientifically established by a 2008 study showed that gay men and women had similarly shaped brains which were symmetrical that differed from the asymmetrical brains of straight men which was slightly larger on the right side. As such it can be understood that gay men and straight women have the same viewpoints on the world and think almost similarly.

Basing on the above arguments it should be understood that there is no exception in the communication when your girlfriend's friend deals with her or with her gay male friend. It is the sympathetic side of the gay friend that attracts a woman towards the gay male friend. It is the duty of the straight man to understand the points where he lags behind in comparison to a gay man. A straight man needs to develop the aspect of sensitivity as such.

Faithfulness is another aspect that reasons out why women love gay men. A women does not have the fear of losing her boyfriend to someone else or with the thought of betrayal by her boyfriend if it happens to be a gay male friend.

This calls for the need for a man to establish and demonstrate faithfulness to his woman. In company with the girlfriend a straight male needs to keep control on his actions, the way his eyes moves over other woman and such things that may irate a straight woman.

They are considered to be quite funny and interesting and frankly speak out matters related to sex and also enjoy dancing. Though there are some gay guys who don't wish to be socially associated, but almost every gay man enjoys hanging out and that could be one most important reason why women love gay men.

From the above arguments it should be understood by a straight guy that they need to be less inhibited, talk out loud and require boldness. They need to learn from gays some of those aspects that women love in them. This would surely make a straight man more attractive to his woman than her having a gay male friend as a friend.

64 Ways to Say I Love You


1. Don't compare them to anyone.
2. Be courteous at all times.
3. Embrace the present moments without fear or guilt.
4. Live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
5. Give your full attention when talking.
6. Become their biggest fan and cheerleader!
7. Toast each other over breakfast or dinner to say I love you.
8. Tell them how they bring love to your life.
9. Laugh about kids quotes on love or events.
10. Talk about your day during mealtimes.
11. Read books aloud together.
12. Say you're sorry.
13. Recall good and bad memories.
14. Let go of the past to say I love you.
15. Do nothing together.
16. Encourage health in all its forms.
17. Trust your partner enough to cry together.
18. Act silly together.
19. Be lavish in praise.
20. Ask questions about opinions, feelings, thoughts.
21. To say I love you, forget about labels.
22. Encourage adventures and risks!
23. Show your joy when they come home.
24. Bake cookies.
25. Leave stress at work to say I love you.
26. Use flannel sheets in the winter.
27. Solve problems together - such as crosswords or Suduku.
28. Show your gratitude for them.
29. Be a good sounding board.
30. To say I love you, take pride in them -- and show it.
31. Compliment them in front of others.
32. Spend time with them.
33. Listen.
34. Ask for hugs and kisses.
35. Take vacations together.
36. Tell the truth to say I love you.
37. Use pet names to say I love you.
38. Practice self-acceptance.
39. Hunt for treasure together.
40. Be interested in their interests.
41. To say I love you, let go of jealousy.
42. Accept their weaknesses and flaws.
43. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with them.
44. Be yourself.
45. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes.
46. To say I love you, ignore slights.
47. Pray or meditate together.
48. Practice forgiveness.
49. Watch classic movies together.
50. Leave notes or send letters.
51. To say I love you, buy a "for no reason at all" gift.
52. Don't gossip or judge.
53. Give the benefit of the doubt to say I love you.
54. Give space when they're in a bad or sad mood.
55. Learn something new together.
56. Go dancing.
57. Keep your promises to say I love you.
58. Make them laugh.
59. Consider their feelings.
60. Learn ways to rekindle the romance.
61. Hide a treat in their lunch.
62. To say I love you, make home a fun place to be.
63. Let them make their own decisions.
64. Say what you mean when you say I love you. Say why.

Every Single Brother Wants To Understand How To Attract Women


Everywhere you go to find dates, you see those guys who have women lining up to hang all over them. How can you level the playing field and learn how to attract women like they seem to be the masters of? Well, it's easier to learn than you'd probably think. What's more, it's fun!

The way to get off to a good start is to employ the number one method for getting women to like you: listen to them. Just follow that one simple step and your dating life will substantially improve right away. Women aren't looking for some fool who is planning to use and drop them; they can tell when someone is truly listening and when they're not, just the same way you can. Show some respect.

One of the main things to listen for when you're listening is what she says about her interests. What does she want to do for a career? Is she doing it yet? What does she want to do before she dies? What is her favorite film? Knowing these things about a person ultimately adds up to truly knowing that person, which will enable you to be sincere and thoughtful in matters like dates and gifts.

If you get the above things right but fail to take the essential step of doing it genuinely, then you may as well give up however. Just like you can tell when someone is treating you insincerely, women can tell that just as easily. When she tells you something, follow up on it. Take the time to learn about her interests, see her favorite films, and so forth.

Part of the reason people get into relationships in the first place is that they're looking for someone to share their burdens with, as well as their triumphs. However, it can be all too easy to fall into the trap of complaining too much. No one likes a downer, so cheer up and be sure you listen to her too.

Women like a guy who can demonstrate capability and confidence in everything that they do. This doesn't mean that you boast about yourself and act arrogant, because that's a sure turn-off. Rather, it simply means that you don't express trepidation, and you don't belittle yourself. Just relax. Let your natural confidence flow forth without trying for it.

It's not all about attracting women, however, it's about keeping the good ones once you get to know them. It can be easy to fall into rhythms where you take someone else for granted, so take special care not to allow this to happen. Step away from the computer or video games once in a while to spend some quality time with her.

As one last point of advice, be sure to check your ego at the door. If you're dating a lot of women, you're probably going to hear a lot of criticism, so you better be able to take it well. When she says you're doing something she doesn't like, don't just tell yourself it's her problem, examine whether or not the problem is really with you. This is the true method for how to attract women.

Monday, May 3, 2010

3 Stages of Love Romantic Feelings, Physical Attraction, and Emotional Attachment


Falling in love involves three stages: the initial feelings of lust or romantic feelings, physical attraction, and finally a deeper emotional attachment.

Reaching the final stage of love isn't just about luck or unconditional acceptance. You can reach the final stage of love with these seven tips for a healthy love life. But to be enjoyed, the three stages of love must first be understood.
What Are the Three Stages of Love?

The three stages of love are the same for everyone: lust or romantic feelings, physical attraction, and emotional attachment. The stages of love aren't necessarily separated by markers like anniversaries or events (such as getting married). Rather, the three stages of love blend together in one long stroke of love.

Not everyone reaches or stays in the final stage of love, which is when separation or divorce becomes the choice.
The Three Stages of Love

Romantic feelings or lust is the first stage of love. Romantic love is driven by testosterone and estrogen. Mating is the evolutionary purpose of this stage of love; it creates strong physical attraction and sets the stage for emotional attachment. In this stage of love, endorphins soak your brain and you're immersed in intense pleasurable sensations. Your lover is perfect, ideal, made for you. In this stage of love you feel exhilarated and even "high" (similar to the feeling you get after you eat really good chocolate or have a great workout). You feel infatuated in this stage of love.

Read more at Suite101: 3 Stages of Love: Romantic Feelings, Physical Attraction, and Emotional Attachment http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/love_love_me_do#ixzz0mw9fpdoi
Physical attraction and power struggles make up the second stage of love (the "lovesick" phase). You may lose your appetite, need less sleep, and daydream about your lover on the bus, during meetings, in the shower. In this stage of love, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are racing through your body and brain. You're also trying to shape your lover into your ideal partner – which is where the power struggles come in. In this stage of relationship, you're becoming more realistic, and you two may fight about things like whether or not to buy organic food or listen to country music. The infatuation is wearing off, a strong emotional attachment begins to set in, and feelings of infatuation fade.

Emotional attachment or unconditional acceptance is the third stage of love. Emotional attachment involves commitment, partnership, and even children (a fear of intimacy prevents many from reaching this stage of love). In this stage of love, you're aware of both positive and negative traits in your partner, and you've decided you want to build a life together. Confrontation is most likely to occur in this stage of love (though if you're authentic and honest, it'll also happen in the second stage of love). You and your partner will either work towards a healthy, loving relationship or decide to call it quits.
The Three Stages of Love: Staying in Love

Love isn't just a vehicle that brings happiness and contentment to your life (or bitterness and pain!). Love is a living, dynamic creature that changes, grows, and needs attention -- and you must nurture it. In all three stages of love, your love reveals who you really are, in all your glory and weakness.

All stages of love can help you accept your strengths and weaknesses. All stages of love also reveal your partner's strengths and weaknesses.

Read more at Suite101: 3 Stages of Love: Romantic Feelings, Physical Attraction, and Emotional Attachment http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/love_love_me_do#ixzz0mw9oFans

“The Path to Love”


In “The Path to Love”, Dr. Deepak Chopra shows us that by bringing spirituality back into our relationships, we can discover a world of depth and meaning that infuses every day with romance and passion.


"You were created to be completely loved and completely lovable for your whole life."

All of us need to believe that we are loved and lovable. We began life with confidence on both points, bathed in a mother's love and swaddled in our own innocence. Love was never in question, but over time our certainty clouded. When you look at yourself today, can you still make the two statements every infant could if it had the words?

I am completely loved.
I am completely lovable.

Few people can, for looking at yourself honestly you see flaws that make you less than completely lovable and less than perfectly loved. In many ways this seems right to you, for perfect love is supposedly not of this world. Yet in a deeper sense, what you call flaws are really just the scars of hurts and wounds accumulated over a lifetime. When you look in the mirror, you think you are looking at yourself realistically, but your mirror doesn't reveal the truth that endures despite all hurt:

In a way it is amazing that you do not realize this, because underneath everything you think and feel, innocence is still intact. Time cannot blemish your essence, your portion of spirit. But if you lose sight of this essence, you will mistake yourself for your experiences, and there is no doubt that experience can do much to obliterate love. In an often hostile and brutal world, maintaining innocence seems impossible. Therefore, you find yourself experiencing only so much love and only so much lovability.

This can change.

"In spirit you are unbounded by time and space, untouched by experience. In spirit you are pure love."

Although you perceive yourself in limited terms, as a mind and a body confined in time and space, there is a wealth of spiritual teaching that says otherwise. In spirit you are unbounded by time and space, untouched by experience. In spirit you are pure love.

The reason you do not feel completely loved and completely lovable is that you do not identify with your spiritual nature. Your sense of love has lost one thing it cannot afford to do without: its higher dimension. What would it be like to restore this lost part of yourself?

Mind, body, and spirit would unite--this union creates the love you have to give. You and your beloved would unite--this creates the love you have to share.

In our deepest nature each person is meant to be the hero or heroine of an eternal love story. The story begins in innocence, with a baby's birth into a mother's loving arms. It proceeds through stages of growth, as the young child step' out into the world. With more and more experience the circle of love widens, including first family and friends, then intimate partners, but also taking in love of abstract things, like learning and truth. The ripening journey brings us to love of giving, and the blossoming of higher values, such as compassion, forgiveness, and altruism. Finally there is the direct experience of spirit itself, which is pure love. The journey climaxes in the same knowledge that a baby began with, although it couldn't voice that knowledge: I am love.

You know that you have fully experienced love when you turn into love--that is the spiritual goal of life.

Not many people find the spiritual goal of life. The aching need created by lack of love can only be filled by learning anew to love and be loved. All of us must discover for ourselves that love is a force as real as gravity, and that being upheld in love every day, every hour, every minute is not a fantasy-it is intended as our natural state.

"However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the "right" person, because he or she is a mirror of who you are inside."

This book is about reviving love stories that should never have faded. The union of self and spirit is not only possible but inevitable. The spiritual meaning of love is best measured by what it can do, which is many things.

Love can heal.
Love can renew.
Love can make us safe.
Love can inspire us with its power.
Love can bring us closer to God.

Everything love is meant to do is possible. Knowing this, however, has only made the gap between love and non-love more painful.

Countless people have experienced love--as pleasure, sex, security, having someone else fulfill their daily needs--without seeing that a special path has opened to them. Socially, the "normal" cycle of love is simply to find a suitable partner, marry, and raise a family. But this social pattern isn't a path, because the experience of marriage and raising a family isn't automatically spiritual. Sad to say, many people enter lifelong relationships in which love fades over time or provides lasting companionship without growing in its inner dimension. A spiritual path has only one reason to exist: it shows the way for the soul to grow. As it grows, more of spiritual truth is revealed, more of the soul's promise is redeemed.

When you find your path, you will also find your love story. People today are consumed by doubts about their relationships: Have I found the right partner? Am I being true to myself? Have I given the best part of myself away? As a result, there is a restless kind of consumer shopping for partners, as if the "right" one can be found by toting up a potential mate's pluses and minuses until the number of pluses matches some mythical standard. The path to love, however, is never about externals. However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the "right" person, because he or she is a mirror of who you are inside. Our culture hasn't taught us this (as it has failed to teach us so much about spiritual realities). When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. Every conflict you wage is an excuse not to face a conflict within. The path to love therefore clears up a monumental mistake that millions of people make--the mistake that someone "out there" is going to give (or take) something that is not already yours. When you truly find love, you find yourself.

Therefore the path to love isn't a choice, for all of us must find out who we are. This is our spiritual destiny. The path can be postponed; you can lose faith in it or even despair that love exists at all. None of that is permanent; only the path is. Doubt reflects the ego, which is bound in time and space; love reflects God, eternal divine essence. The ultimate promise on the path to love is that you will walk in the light of a truth extending beyond any truth your mind presently knows.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

“The Kiss of the Week”


There is a little game I play with my wife. I call it the kiss of the week. Each Sunday I designate a certain place to be the “kissing spot” and it is there that I softly plant my lips when I want to let her know I appreciate something she has done or to simply let her know that I love her.

...my wife looks forward to the new kiss...
I once heard an elderly man describe the success of his 75 year blissful marriage to his wife. He said he told her every day that he loved her and kissed her at least twice each day. I aim to follow his example and by having the kissing spot of the week, it helps me to make certain I am not forgetting to give my wife the daily kisses she deserves so much.

Some of the kissing spots have been: behind her left ear, between her eyes, the soft spot in the middle of her cheek and on the nape of her neck. It’s fun trying to decide where the next “spot” will be and my wife looks forward to the new kiss at the beginning of the week. I do not forego kissing her on the lips, but I do make a conscious effort to kiss her often on the “kissing spot.” If your belle hasn’t been getting the kisses she deserves or you are looking for a way to be a more creative kisser, perhaps you too can institute the kiss of the week into your romantic lifestyle.

Easy Tricks To Getting Women



Ever felt like getting women is impossible? Ever felt like its too much? Ever felt frustrated and mad with how it seems like work, and how women don't seem to appreciate it? Well, I have done it too at times in the past, but I've found some really cool tricks to get a woman. Do you wanna know what these tricks are? Read on as I share my 3 favorite ones.

1. Indifference - A task is only hard so far as you have emotional attachment to the outcome. What this simply means is if you care how it turns out or not. Let me give you an obvious example... When you're checking email, are you worrying if maybe you'll get 3 emails today instead of 4? Of course not, you don't care or even think about it. We all get so many emails from random newsletters, spammers and all kinds of websites. So, your attitude is more like, let me go and check if there is something useful here. Oh cool, I got email from a friend or... Oh I got a bunch of ads, whatever.Well, you can have the same mindset with getting women. If your mindset is... "hmmm, that's a cool looking woman, I'll go and check out what she's like, and see if she's cool", then you will feel indifferent no matter what happens. If she loves you great (interesting email), if she's boring whatever, if she's mean, ya, another one of those spam emails. Have this attitude that you're just checking out what women are like and life will be a helluva lot easier.

2. Pretend You Got It - One extremely interesting trick I've found in getting women is to pretend like you already do. What do I mean by this? I've found that if you act-as-if you're a super-hot guy that has hundreds of girlfriends, women will actually respond well to you. I know it sounds too easy to work, but it does. Try it if you don't believe me. Just imagine you're James Bond or some kind of a player. Go out to a place where no one knows you, and just pretend you're on a movie screen, playing James Bond. How would you walk? What kind of a smug, cocky expression would you have on your face? How would you look at women? How would you talk to women? Just try it out, and see how women respond to you.

3. Just Being Social - I might be repeating a point here, but you really want to be desire-less when getting women. If you approach women with an intent of "Oh wow, I have to get a number here!" it will just fail. The best mindset I have found is to treat it as "just socializing". You're not trying to pick up women, you're not trying to get women. You are just being social. You're going around, having fun, meeting people (some of whom happen to be hot women), and you could care less if it leads to more than friendship. I mean of course, you are conscious of any signs that the woman wants something more, and you make use of them. But you treat them more like a bonus, rather than something you must have.

My recommendation for you is to basically use all these 3 recommendation in concert. If you do, you will find they work really great for getting women, in a really easy, effortless way that works. Every player I know tends to use these 3 and enjoys having that lifestyle.