While suggestions for treatment of sex and love addiction differ among varying helping groups and professionals, two major concepts are considered important by all:
1. since love and sex are natural and important parts of human functioning the impulses need to be re-channeled rather than abandoned and
2. full recovery involves developing healthy relationships.
With most addictions, abstinence is a major goal and means to recovery. The alcoholic abstains from drinking; the compulsive gamble stops betting; the addict stops using. Yet, just as the suggestion that compulsive overeaters cease all eating activities would be unrealistic as well as unhealthy, and therefore unwise, the suggestion that sex and love addicts stop partaking of their loving and sexual impulses would be equally unnatural and also unnecessary. Loving and sexual impulses expressed in healthy ways lead to feelings of belonging, positive interactions, and increasing self esteem.
Sex and love addicts have distorted their natural impulses in dysfunctional ways in order to deny their feelings of shame. Therefore, a major goal of recovery is to re-direct and re-channel addictive thoughts and behaviors in order to rediscover their natural loving and sexual impulses and transform their lives.
Developing healthy relationships is vital to recovery from a sex or love addiction. To this end Twelve Step programs modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous serve a valuable purpose. Many sex and love addicts find the acceptance, patience, and structure of a Twelve Step program such as Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) or Co-Dependents Anonymous (CODA) their key to feeling more genuine connectedness with themselves and others. Some find a special friend, mentor, or lover with whom they are able to form a healthy and enduring bond.
Some need more help. A number of people discover that a relationship with a professional therapist with expertise in these issues can be helpful in many situations. A therapist can help them see why they behave in unhealthy ways, can help them identify their unmet needs and find ways of expressing and getting them met, can describe what healthy relationships are like, and can help guide and support recovering addicts as they experiment with new ways of being.
Although sex and love addicts may experience anxiety, loneliness and despair and the road of recovery may seem long and bumpy, they can become healthier in their relationships and lead fuller, more satisfying lives. If you or a loved one need help, get it. Make yourself a priority and attend to this most basic of needs as soon as you can.
No comments:
Post a Comment